Being a parent is a very tough yet the most rewarding job. While the same might sound condescending, it is true. There are moments when you might end up saying something casually to your child which you should never say to your child.
The words we use might not seem like an issue at first but the effects are often long lasting. Children tend to think their parent’s words set in stone. While this is a good thing, it has its downsides as well. This is the main reason why you need to be careful with your words while talking to your child.
There are several common phrases that parents say to their children which might have negative influences on them. It is always best to choose the words carefully and think before you speak. There are few things which you should never say to your child.
It may not seem very important to you right that moment but the after effects are sometimes ghastly. While there are way more such phrases, I have jotted down the top five of them you should never say to your child as per my judgement.
“Stop crying like a baby all the time”
Just the sentence itself is disheartening and can inflict a lot of negative thoughts in a child’s mind. A kid is subjected to crying, he/she is a child after all. If you feel like you are getting frustrated with the same, it is best to distance yourself.
The phrase about crying or telling them to stop crying often makes them emotionless. While you may have said that to your child while being angry, it sticks with them. It makes the child feel that it is bad to show emotions building in them.
This often makes them bottle their feelings up which leads to them being silent and a lot withdrawn. This doesn’t happen all of a sudden but grows on the child with age. Learn from others mistakes and never say to your child again.
2. “You should always listen to the adults”
While the phrase may seem like nothing disrupting from the outside, it is not the correct way to phrase it. This often gives the child the idea that ALL the adults are correct. They tend to even rely on strangers just because they are adults.
Children are like mere clay models that you can mould the way you want. Phrases like these often get off as a wrong impression to them. It is always best to phrase them correctly. You can ask them to only listen to the parents and not just anyone random who comes up. It takes time to make kids understand and it is important to be patient with them.
3· “You must share your stuff”
This is not all that bad but it often tends to leave a negative imagination in the kid’s mind.
The children often tend to think that nothing is theirs and they are subjected to share each and every thing.
While the same is nice, it is not necessary. It is always best to phrase the words better and ask the children about swapping their toys. This is a lot gentler in tone and makes the children make their own opinions and decisions.
4· “Learn from your friend”
This is one of the worst things you could say to a small child. This not just demeans but also makes them feel little about themselves. It is always best to not compare two children.
Not every kid is the same and might have different talents. It is always best to encourage them and make them see the good in themselves. This makes them feel good about themselves and they try harder the next time.
Directly accusing a child for being a inferior behind than their friend shatters their self-esteem. This may not seem like a lot but can inflict a bad effect in the long run.
It is best to tell them to work harder and achieve it the next time rather than comparing them to their peers.
5· “We’ll talk when we get home”
This is one of the horrifying things I observed parents say to their child. You don’t want your kid to be terrified or you just because of some mistake they did. This phrase often gives them the vibes that they are going to get scolded.
This often creates a sense of resentment in their minds for being at home. It is best to resolve the issue right that moment rather than taking it home.
You may inflict punishments for the wrong deed but terrifying them is not the correct way.
Children are very sensitive even if they always don’t look like it. You never know what phrase may end up upsetting them. This is why it is important to construct you sentences carefully and never say to your child the things which could hurt their little mind or heart.
You don’t have to be terrifying your kid to obey you. It is good to be stern but not good to be terrifying. It makes the children feel like they can’t come to you in times to need.
I tend to personally learn from my mistakes and create a better bond with my children. The views shared here are mine(Based on my observation).